I Could Stand Up at Any Moment

Self-portraits in shallow water. Dressed to show my femininity, in sequins and heels, I lie beneath the surface with a stone on my stomach. Nothing stops me from standing. Only the stone keeps me from floating. I am alive. Is this living?

I Could Stand Up at Any Moment

In this series of self-portraits, I lie just beneath the surface of shallow water, wearing a sequined dress and heels, a stone on my stomach.

As an unmarried woman in Korea, I have felt my femininity imposed on me. My femininity and my body are what I am judged by, and I feel an unspoken pressure to keep them on display. I chose a dress that follows my silhouette and, wet, can pass for skin. I wear it with heels and red lipstick, femininity turned all the way up.

Through the water, I am only a shape. From above, I may look exactly as expected, and no one can tell what is underneath. The surface is only a hand's breadth away. I could stand up at any moment. The stone is the only thing holding me down, and I placed it there myself. It matches my dress and disappears into it.

I photographed myself in bright daylight. The images look light, even cheerful. Beneath that surface, my body is completely still, almost lifeless.

I am alive down here. But is this living?